By Frances
When I read tarot, oracles, people, places or whatever, I stop for a moment after the initial moment and study, still my thoughts and mind, I look for patterns, colors, people, I get lost in the moment, I look for overall feelings, for themes and the story but most importantly I look for the light! The light that shines through the tunnel of darkness. Sometimes it takes me a very, very, very long time to find the light, but find it, I always do! That is my true gift, not the intuitive, psychic, divinatory or empathic senses but being able to find the light in any situation or person.
When I am reading a person I can see where they have allowed the darkness to fester, who or what hurt them and what they are holding onto that brings them down like an anchor, and most importantly what they need to do to find the light. I can see the clover that has covered their soul but more importantly I can see how to prune it all away and get them to see the light that will free their soul.
One night I was at a charity function and I had a very impatient young volunteer trying to speed me along. I volunteered to read at the function and to me this meant I will read for as many as I can and that was that. This young woman had something else in mind and she was glaring at me during my readings and trying to hurry me along. I was new at these type of functions and I allowed her to get the better of me. I was about to throw in the towel and I got up to leave when this other woman approached me wanting a reading. I was overcome by her emotions. She was depressed, desperate and frantic with the thought that I was leaving, I assured her I was just taking a momentary break and I would be back.....
DAMN! I definitely did not want to do that! When I am uncomfortable I like to FLEE! So I went to the bathroom, splashed a little water on me and came back and sat down with her. I did not need the cards to read her but I shuffled and drew them nonetheless. The darkness! It was all encompassing! I was overcome with her sadness and grief. I began talking, slowly, sweetly, I was soft spoken (definitely not my usual way), I pussyfooted through the beginning of the reading unfolding the story very carefully, very slowly and methodically there were so many land mines that I needed to tread very carefully. I knew what I had, I knew what I saw but I had to be careful. There was so much shame, pain, loss and utter hopelessness. What stunned me was there was NO light in the initial throw and moments. I was momentarily stunned and at a loss but I took a deep breath, undaunted I persevered. I kept drawing cards, more and more until finally I found it.
The light is always there! Where there is darkness there is light. There are things I just know, and that is one of them. Look at the 5 of Disks in the Thoth. Can you see the light? I can. If you use your mind and persevere you will push the darkness away and get to the light. That is the message of this card to me. I focus on the light! Just like I do when I am awoken in the middle of the night and need to get somewhere. I focus on a sliver of light to follow.
Back to my sitter. For this woman I had to look long and hard, it wasn't easy! I told her what had happened, and yes it was dark and twisted. I told her enough so she could understand that I knew where she was but then I focused on the light. I didn't sugar coat her situation or lie about the future, (I don't do that), I told her she had a long road ahead of her but if she put in the time and effort, things would turn around. I told her which path to take and what she needed to focus on and how life would be when she was on the other side. I told her how she was supposed to get through this mess. I felt her depression lighten a bit even though she understood the gravity of the situation. We cried, but she held onto that hope and left better than she sat down. That was more than I could hope for and I understood in that moment that she was why I was there! I was sent to be there for her!
Before I became a reader I frequented many readers. I loved being read. I still do! I love watching the process, I love the mystery, the magic and hope. I have a strong spirit very much so. As much as I loved readings I could see what was true and what was a scam. I know that I am the captain of my ship and I know that I direct it's course. No matter what was said to me I continued MY WAY!!! This is very important! I didn't buy crystals to break curses or candles to lighten me up or give great sums of money to charlatans. I went to so many readers in my youth that I encountered fakes and frauds, amazing psychic and mediocre readers alike, light and dark readers as well. The latter was the most distressing and rattled even my strong spirit.
I read her when I met her and I knew who she was but I was ever curious and like a young pup eager to find a clue about my future. Her reading was excessively expensive! She was jealous, fierce and caught up with her own demons and she had many! I knew her achilles heel, what motivated her but yet I allowed her to read for me and to say the most heinous, evil things to me. She saw only doom and gloom and literally death and destruction, all of which never came to pass, thank you God! When I left her reading I was broken, crying (not something I do in public), quite shaken and upset. It was awful! Thank goodness I have strong guides and angels around me that push and prod me, the second I took a step outside and took a breath of fresh air, I remembered who I was and where my light was and I followed it and released her reading into the ether and never looked back.
I feel badly for people who feed on darkness and sadness. They are true psychic vampires, I find them weak and evil. This person was fueled by hurting me. She reveled in it! I am naïve to that kind of darkness unfortunately. She and I are polar opposites, I am empowered by healing and helping. It hurts me physically if I inadvertently hurt someone.
Remember something, a reading is merely a snapshot of the situation at the moment you are read, providing the person is being true and truly has gifts. You have the power to alter the outcome of your future anytime you wish to do so.
NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER, NEVER, EVER give your power away to anyone! Readings should be used as a tool to give you a better understanding of a situation, to guide or encourage you, to explore things that may not have occurred to you, to find the light that you may have lost or for you to understand more than you do about what is going on in your life so that you have more power over your destiny. Don't ever allow any reader or reading take your power away from you!
When you read for someone please look for the light! Even in the darkest of situations our angels shine a light for us, you just need to sit still a moment and find it. Give the gift of light to your clients and shine yourself!