By Frances
PREFACE: I wrote this article a couple of weeks ago but Mercury Retrograde waved it's sinister wand and it magically disappeared. So I begin again..... although the first time I wrote it I was coming off a high of actually practicing what I am about to preach.... today not so much, I reacted rather than responded. Nobody's perfect least of all me.
I loathe labels but for brevity's sake I am an empath, among other things. I feel people's emotions as if they are mine. I put them on like I would a coat or rather skin. It makes for rather interesting readings when I am in work mode, but when I am just living and someone's emotions bowl me over like a tidal wave, it is anything less than interesting. Someone recently told me that I needed thicker skin. I replied that my skin is the thinnest part of my body. My husband thought that was quite funny until he caught my gaze. Poor guy. While I've always been empathic, I think when I was younger I shielded myself, however, as I threw myself into reading and divination any shield I had set up previously came crumbling down and I became even more sensitive than I was earlier. This rarely was an issue while reading but it threw me into a tailspin in daily life and I must admit I haven't handled any of it well. I reacted to the emotions hurtling at me rather than waiting and responding in a controlled manner.
My failure to respond seemed to come to light for me a couple of years ago, as my daughter entered kindergarten. She had a teacher who the minute I met her I knew we were in trouble. She was an emotional mess and was dealing with serious personal issues! I didn't try and read her, unfortunately it all came out at me when I spoke to her. We had to speak a number of times throughout the year. One morning, in particular, I had to call her about something that she had done to my daughter. I knew what I was up against and that the potential of me being sucked into her vortex was extremely high so I began to steel myself, I meditated. I took a cleansing shower. I smudged the house and I wrote everything I was going to say down and stuck to my script but as it would be, fate stepped in and I made a fatal error, I called too early. An office walker alerted her that I had called and the teacher ran to the principal and told the most outrageous lies about my 5yo. I had no idea she did this but the moment I spoke to her I felt her anger, fear and insecurity. I didn't get through the first line of my prepared speech before she went at me and I was overwhelmed by her animus. It didn't end well. I was devastated by my failure to control the situation. I knew these were not my emotions, I even knew she was going to fling them at me beforehand but it made no difference. I felt powerless to fight them, logic flew out the window and they became mine. This was the final incident for me, I realized I had an issue and I wanted to find a way to manage my "gift."
Balance: It's all about your balancing point. Think of the Thoth Adjustment card - you need to balance yourself on a point. For me it feels very much like a pin point that I have to steady myself on. At times it takes all my concentration and energy. Breathe in deeply and own your feelings and emotions. Each morning I awake and stretch and meditate before I get out of the bed. I do a quick chakra balancing and take an assessment of how I am feeling. What stresses are weighing on my heart. What am I carrying with me today?
Be Present: I have back pain from a serious injury that I live with daily, as such I have learned to block out the pain. If I didn't do this I would be incapacitated. My ability to block and to escape are astounding which is probably why I am so caught off guard. I have learned that you need to be in the moment, be present. You must know how you feel and why, so that when another person's thoughts or emotions hit, you can shake them off, release them. Multiple times during the day I do an emotional check. How am I? How do I feel? Why? When I don't know why, I suspect I have absorbed someone's energy and I take measures to eliminate it.
Shield: Envision a white light around you like a shield or a bubble. I sometimes see myself as Glenda the good witch in the wizard of Oz floating down in a bubble. I used this visual for my daughter and adopted it for myself. Carry shielding stones like black tourmaline, hematite, clear quartz, lapiz, and sodalite. Malachite is also a good stone to help. Carry protective herbs - lavender, rosemary, angelica, sage. They are even more powerful if you grow them and/or harvest them yourself.
Releasing: The way I release the energy is by smudging, or walking somewhere to ground, exercising, hugging a tree, knitting, or washing my hands, playing with Silly Putty or being in or around water. I also drive. I adore driving so this grounds me. Be careful around food because it is the way a lot of people ground. Find what resonates with you and keep it in mind when necessary. We are in control over our thoughts, behaviors and actions.
Respond: We need to learn how to respond rather than react. Reacting robs you of choice and makes you succumb to the circumstance. You want to take a moment to think so you can consciously choose how you want to respond. Much much easier said then done. Just breathe.... take a moment to square breathe - breathe in for a count of 5, hold for a count of 5, breathe out for a count of 5 and hold for another count of 5 and begin again.... this will bring your consciousness back and give you that second that you need to change a reaction into a response.
Nothing is fail safe as I know first hand today. I got triggered and I lost my ground. Own your actions and try again. Truth, sincerity and integrity are the keys to life.
Image "Adjustment" used in this article from the Crowley Thoth Tarot.