By Leean Lester
This article is about the journey of life and death and how we are affected by it.
On Jan. 14th, 2008 my father passed away after a long battle ~ 10 yrs. of dealing with a few types of cancer. He was 74 yrs. old. He lived longer than the doctors had predicted he would. It just goes to show you how the spirit is tougher than the body, but in the end sometimes the body ends up winning as it is only a shell and it too reaches the end of its cycle.
When someone close to you passes away, there are things that make you think what if this or what if only that. We want to reach out to make them feel better, to take away their pain and suffering but sometimes we don’t know what to say or do and then we feel like an idiot and helpless.
There are many things I would have liked to say or do differently with my father, but that is another story. Perhaps another time and place.
The after effects of a loved one passing can be long lasting and sometimes seem as if though it doesn’t bother some and others it shows really big. I guess we all deal with death in many different ways. Some cry, others scream and withdraw from the world; while others go about their day to day routine as if nothing has happened. There is nothing wrong in this, just the way we each deal with death or certain situations. This is what makes us unique in our own way. As with all things it takes time to heal and deal with.
My father was very special to me in a strange way. We were never really close when I was growing up, due to him being away overseas in the military a lot. As I got older and on my own he seemed to be there for me when the need arose. He taught me many things about how to accept a person for who they are inside and to fight for what I believe is right.
I do feel an empty spot that is left behind by my father, and know that in time it will become less noticeable. I have the memories and special times we spent together and other keepsakes left behind by him. These are things no one can take from me.
He taught me that life is like a circle, it starts and ends, that everything has a beginning and an end. That it is not for us to say how things should be or for us to question, but that we should accept it for what it is and that the universe has a plan whether we agree with it or not. This year will be dealing with a lot of reflecting on the impact my father made on not just my life, but those around him that he touched or had some kind of affect on. I know that he will be greatly missed by many.
As my father once put it “I may be gone some day, but I won’t be forgotten by those whose lives I crossed paths with and made a difference in some way or other.” May you rest in peace my “old hillbilly father." Love your daughter “Orphan Annie”